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Strange But True
When In Doubt, Fake It
By Hal Eisenberg
About 15 plus years ago while getting my original agency off the ground, we
snared a meeting with a satellite company looking for a “bold, creative
direction” as the CEO put it. Back then satellite was still in its infancy as
they attempted to attract cable customers who were sick of the poor service they
were receiving.
Walking up the paved path
to the modern glass and steel corporate offices of the
satellite company, I couldn’t help but smile thinking
that if we pulled it off, this account would be quite an
acquisition for our new small ad agency. The CEO
preceded to take us on a tour of his plush offices: the
conference room with the giant, long oak table and
sixteen chairs, the 15 private offices of the
vice-presidents and salespeople, the telemarketing
center with the dozens of operators manning the phones,
and of course the CEO’s own oversized office with the
panoramic view of the city. It was all very impressive.
After a successful meeting in which I pitched them a
humorous radio campaign the CEO proclaimed, “I like your
stuff! Tell you what, how about if we sign a deal on
Friday, say, at your place? And you can take us on a
tour of your corporate offices!”
That sounded great but there was a slight problem. We
didn’t have a corporate office. In fact we barely had an
office at all. All we really had was a room for our
recording studio with a smaller room off of that in one
of those plain looking condo office complexes. “Sounds
great!” I believe was my reply as sheer panic began to
set in.
"How were we going to acquire a corporate office in four
days?" I wondered to myself. I was praying for some
creative inspiration when I got an idea. After the
meeting we drove to a nearby modern furniture store.
“Modern” in case you didn’t know, is another word in the
furniture industry for “highly over priced”. Sure enough
they sold the exact type of artsy, bizarre furniture
you’d expect to see in a thriving up and coming ad
agency and fortunately for me, they took American
Express. We bought sofas, chairs, a conference table,
wall pictures, a receptionists desk and various other
little office dressings like desk lamps and “object d’
art”. I don’t remember what the bill was but it was
definitely in the high five figure neighborhood.
I convinced the furniture company that we had to have it
all delivered within 48 hours and when it arrived, we
set about turning our four bare walls into a respectable
looking ad agency corporate office. We turned the little
side room into a receptionist, conference room as well.
On Friday we watched the CEO and his four associates
walk up the steps as I instructed my sister, who I had
convinced to play our receptionist, to make sure she
called our main line from our fax line every five
minutes to make it appear as if we were very, very busy
ad guys.
“Come in! Welcome!” Said my “secretary”. “I’ll tell them
you are here!” As she pretended to buzz us on the fake
intercom. We came out and proceeded to show them around,
which took all of about 10 minutes. And right on
schedule, my sister broke in twice after which I
instructed her to hold all calls.
Hard to believe but they signed us up that day and we
were thrilled. The furniture company however was less
than thrilled we called to inform them that our recent
purchases just didn’t fit our “vision” and had them pick
it all up the following week.
I was pretty proud of myself for pulling that one off
but continued to squirm every time the CEO suggested he
might want to come by our corporate offices for a visit.
I can't recall how many excuses I used to divert him but
you can believe my creative skills were tested to the
max.
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